Maybe I should start by brushing on a set of topics that have been debated on and spoken about since the dawn of mankind and will never be completely nullified or settled amongst a common ground between sexes; and these wonderful topics are none other than the Anatomy of the Female Psyche and Relationships…………At this stage in life as a young respectable man, I find it safe to say that I have had my fair share in both off-hand and on-hand experience in terms of relationships and the female psyche.

blog2_11-24 To start things off, it’s clear that men and women were created for each other and should therefore embody a mutual understanding for one another despite there being a host of sexual differences……Especially when the emotional aspects of love are entered into the equation……Right…???………………

I would say that this is in part very true, but only to a certain extent. Why, you ask??? Well let me explain……Speaking from a male stand point and based on my experiences and observations thus far, I would honestly and truthfully say that both sides of the playing field have there faults, bad habits, stigmas and strong aspects which all play a role in the continuous cycle of love and hate within relationships.

I’ve seen tons of documentaries, tv shows, movies, read articles (etc, etc, etc,) all about how some genius (whether they be male or female) thinks that they know “everything” about the opposite sex and decides that they are going to “teach” their sex how to deal with and treat the opposite sex in all situations and under any circumstances (Not that it’s bad to give advice if you think you’re an “expert”). But it never ends…….

Black Woman Thinking

But in all honesty, I kind of enjoy the numerous debatable factors of relationships and what not since it does help achieve a sense of understanding especially when you end up in one of those late night “battle of the sexes” talks with a bunch of friends from both sexes.

But think about it…While standing in line at the grocery, you glance down at a women’s magazine and what do most of the headline side topics usually say? Something along the lines of “Ten Ways to Please Your Man“, “Dr So-and-So’s Secret Dating Tips“……..And even on some men’s magazine you’ll see, “Want to Know What She’s Thinking”, “10 Rules About Women” and so on and so forth. Ironically, divorce rates are still rising, along with abortion rates and the number of single parent homes………(Hmm…Now isn’t that strange……???)

I wish I or someone new the specific answer to all this, but all I have is my intuition and opinion. And at this stage this topic could take a turn in any direction, so I’ll lay out the main topic that I wanted to touch on, which is my recent analogy on women based on my won experiences and observations (So don’t take anything I say personal or the wrong way, but feel free to disagree)

bakari5In my eyes it is just as difficult to find a good women as it is to find a good man. Yet society tends to lean more towards giving women the benefit of the doubt of portraying things as though it is mostly only difficult to find a good man.

Now, not wanting to sound biased or egotistical, but I wound place myself in the “good man” category and speak for that side of the spectrum. Even though the question of what exactly a “good man” or a “good woman” is can be dissected all around, since everyone has their own take on it all, but that’s a topic for another day.

Time and time again has the simple scenario when the jock, pretty boy, and/or braggadocio testosterone filled meat head gets the beautiful, intelligent and well-rounded female while the “other guy” (the good man) sits on the sidelines waiting to only eventually get the girl in the end and be inducted into the “Good Guys Finish Last” Hall-of-Fame with the quote from his new female “Where Have You Been All My Life” inscribed onto the bottom of his plague…………Why must this most commonly have to be the case???……Who knows……..But it shouldn’t……..And why do women (and I don’t mean ALL women) continue to feed into the same stigmatic cycle…….For some magical reason women tend not to like or appreciate “nice guys” as they flee from men who treat them like queens claiming that “he was being way to nice” which for some reason gets symbolized as a sign of weakness and flock to the thugs, jocks, and pretty boys who have their first dibs pick of the crop or available females……….Boggles my mind really….

Where Have You Been?

This leads into my next point and my analogy on women. A “good girl” (or a Prime, which I personally like to refer to them as) is in my definition a female who is well-rounded both mentally and physically, and yes that includes all of the basic traits that almost all human beings say they look for in a partner (Smart, Funny, Attractive, Great Personality, Loving, Understanding, Spiritual and the list goes on and on). But in basic terms, my recent thought process has led to my analogy that women are like cars. Now let me paint this picture for you.

A gentleman (good man) who has been car-less makes his way to the car dealership in search of a new car; one which will suit him perfectly as an individual based on his preferences and what he has to offer. And sitting there in the corner of the lot is a brand new “________” (fill in the blank, Ferrari, Benz, or whatever you want it to be)…..And he says to himself, “that’s the one for me“……..However………He is no where near able to afford it but is still well deserving of it…….So he says to himself….”You know what…….I’ll work hard, and come back in the future when I will hopefully be able to earn the privilege of having that vehicle….”

So later on down the line in the future after an ample amount of hard work and dedicated efforts, the man returns to the dealership as he is now more than capable of purchasing the car…….He proudly makes his way back to the car that he has all along known in his heart is right for him, only to be greeted with the site of that same car, exactly the same way he left, but labelled with a much cheaper price…………Why is it being showcased with a reduced price??? Because a bunch of other men have already test driven, bought, used, and returned the car………………………………………………………….

Same car…But not the same car……………

I’ll leave things at that for now………So now, what do you think…???

“I think I fall in love with at least 3 strangers everyday…” – Kev



  1. Amen bruh. I was just talking to my girlfriend about just this same subject last night. We both agreed with each other that if we had met years ago that she wouldn’t have been interested in me (i was the nice type) because she wanted a “thug”. She said that fantasy at that point in her life was that a thug was exciting where as a guy who would treat her right would be too boring. Women tend to go thru that phase where they want drama to have something to brag or gossip about… of course until that all backfires and they mature to the point where they realize that they should respect themselves more.

    I think divorce rates are so high now because the foundation of love (family) is so broken due to the 70’s and 80’s. Families were torn apart by Vietnam, drugs, and so many other things that our generation is suffering due to not having that example of what family truly is. I mean, how are we supposed to know WHO we want when we don’t even understand or know WHO we are? Family helps us understand that from top to bottom (father, mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.). The further away we are from that closeness the harder it is to find ourselves.

    That’s not to say that you have to have or be close to your family to have a stable relationship, but it sure does help I think.

  2. I do have to agree with you somewhat. I know some women who claim they can’t find a nice man but they don’t want the nice guy because he is too nuce or doesn’t have enough swag or whatever. But I know nice guys also that claim that women only want certain kinds of men and that you can’t be nice to them. But then again I look at it like this, it’s hard to find a person that has the “basics” we’re all looking for as well as our own personal extras we like AND they like use back. I think there should be a compromise. I know for myself, that I do know several nice young men around my age but I can’t seem to be interested in them. I think as women we are socialized to like certain kinds of men and we want bad boys to act like nice guys, even if it’s only with us. Very rarely does this happen but just the same alot of men like women they can chase. So it’s a never ending battle lol.

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