[Fake & Flake]

Maybe I should start by saying, that over the past two years, I’ve experienced more fakeness and flaking from people I considered friends at a disproportionately high rate.

Thus, I’ve conducted a purge to remove all of the dead weight from my life and no longer allow myself to be subject to people using me, lying to me, and/or running me around in circles.

One of my close friends told me that these negative experiences have been the result of me constantly being to nice to people that don’t actually care about me and to whom I don’t matter that much. 

So no more Mr. Nice Guy.


[Elevator Conversation]

Maybe I should start by recapping this elevator conversation I just overhead:

Brown Hair Lady: “I love this weather. Definitely my favorite time of year! But it’s just a little to breezy.”
Lady with Glasses: “Me too. But I can’t believe it got so cold so fast in October!”

Brown Hair Lady: “Well, it is almost November…”

Black Hair Lady: “I don’t like this weather, I like 82 degrees. Lol.”


Black Hair Lady: “But ugh, I just can’t believe it’s almost the end of the year, I feel like it just started.”



[Easy Simba]

Girl: Take it easy Simba.

Guy: Who are you talking to?

Girl: My stomach.

Guy: What?…..Why?!

Girl: I call my stomach Simba when it growls cause it sounds like a lion cub.

Guy: :-I


[What kind of Tea?]

Tall guy: “Agh, that tea was disgusting…!”

Short guy: “Really?!”

Tall guy: “Yea…”

Short guy: “What kind if tea was it?”

Tall guy: “I have no idea”

Short guy: “Was it…nass-tea (nasty)…??!! Hahahahah!!”

Tall guy: -_-


[Beats by Dr. Dre]

Oh, you wear your “Beats, by Dr. Dre” everywhere. You must listen to a plethora of great music…


[Mastering an Art]

After countless hours, and years of training, I am extremely honored, blessed, and humbled at having finally mastered the art of dodging the first stream of cold water that shoots out of the shower once turned on…



“I always thought “FTW” stood for “F*** the world”…Guess I need to rethink some past conversations that I’ve had” – Unknown Man


[Wait for the drop…]

Now-a-days, DJs spend more time with there hands in the air than they do actually DJing/mixing…


[Adolescent Argument]

Hispanic Kid: “Shut up, that’s why ya mom’s retarded…”

Black Kid: “Ok, but your mom is mad strong for no reason and can probably backstroke through mud…”

Hispanic Kid: “Umm, but your mom is mad old, farts dust, and spits out dead flies…”

Black Kid: “Oook, but YOUR mom has a goatee and wears a du-rag……”